The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
