i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
