she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
