remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
