At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
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