Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
