Please, let me fuck your mom
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize