I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
They are going to name an STD after you.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
