The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
