adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
