he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
