Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
