Who wears a wallet chain?!
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
As shirtless as possible
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
