When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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