They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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