He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
