he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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