wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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