pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
