it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
