dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Randomize
