found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
