No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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