shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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