I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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