Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
