Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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