I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
