Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Randomize
