Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Randomize
