I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Randomize
