You're so nebulous sometimes
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
