plz talk dirty to me
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I did not marry a roomba.
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