worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize