i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
