If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
