Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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