I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Randomize
