i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
