she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
pray to the hookup gods
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
