I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
