I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
time to smoke my breakfast
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
