??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize