Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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