I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
