btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize