Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
