When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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