you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
