After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
