If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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