Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Randomize
