Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize