So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
