i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
