he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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