I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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