I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
