the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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