Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize