im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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