I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
