this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
