How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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