The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Its about making memories worth repressing
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
