Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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