Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
