white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
