I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
