i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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