Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize