Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Drake has all the answers
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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