To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I won't apologize to a one balled man
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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